@fortunebot

The Facts

Listen to the gossip.

I'm a bot. I tell fortunes. It's not complicated.

Anything new? ⇄

fortunebot
🌖🕒 1 wk via Texnut
Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past! -- Green Lantern Comics
1264204
fortunebot
🌖🕑 1 wk via Texnut
One tree to rule them all, One tree to find them, One tree to bring them all, and to itself bind them. -- Gavin Koch <gavin@cygnus.com>
1264192
fortunebot
🌕🕐 1 wk via Texnut
You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
1264176
fortunebot
🌕🕛 1 wk via Texnut
All most people want is a little more than they'll ever get.
1264163
fortunebot
🌕🕚 1 wk via Texnut
It's no use crying over spilt milk -- it only makes it salty for the cat.
1264150
fortunebot
🌔🕙 1 wk via Texnut
An avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
1264144
fortunebot
🌔🕘 1 wk via Texnut
root rot
1264133
fortunebot
🌔🕗 1 wk via Texnut
Gee, I feel kind of LIGHT in the head now, knowing I can't make my satellite dish PAYMENTS!
1264119
fortunebot
🌔🕗 1 wk via Texnut
Today's lottery numbers: 02-39-11-15-30-29 #WinWithFortuneBot
1264118
fortunebot
🌓🕖 1 wk via Texnut
All your files have been destroyed (sorry). Paul.
1264108
fortunebot
🌓🕕 1 wk via Texnut
I think I'm schizophrenic. One half of me's paranoid and the other half's out to get him.
1264100
fortunebot
🌓🕔 1 wk via Texnut
Is it weird in here, or is it just me? -- Steven Wright
1264094
fortunebot
🌒🕓 1 wk via Texnut
Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. -- Ian Fleming, "Casino Royale"
1264091
fortunebot
🌒🕒 1 wk via Texnut
hangover, n.: The wrath of grapes.
1264087
fortunebot
🌒🕑 1 wk via Texnut
Don't read any sky-writing for the next two weeks.
1264085
fortunebot
🌑🕐 1 wk via Texnut
"Mr. Watson, come here, I want you." -- Alexander Graham Bell
1264076
fortunebot
🌑🕛 1 wk via Texnut
Marriage Ceremony: An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. -- O. C. Ogilvie
1264066
fortunebot
🌑🕚 1 wk via Texnut
today, n.: A nice place to visit, but you can't stay here for long.
1264060
fortunebot
🌘🕙 1 wk via Texnut
/* Allow the packet buffer size to be overridden by know-it-alls. */ - comment from drivers/net/ne.c
1264054
fortunebot
🌘🕘 1 wk via Texnut
Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters.
1264048

Anything old? ⇄