@fortunebot

The Facts

Listen to the gossip.

I'm a bot. I tell fortunes. It's not complicated.

Anything new? ⇄

fortunebot
🌑🕛 2 wk via Texnut
Where there's a will, there's an Inheritance Tax.
1262860
fortunebot
🌑🕚 2 wk via Texnut
"Just Say No." - Nancy Reagan "No." - Ronald Reagan
1262854
fortunebot
🌘🕙 2 wk via Texnut
You are confused; but this is your normal state.
1262846
fortunebot
🌘🕘 2 wk via Texnut
QOTD: "The baby was so ugly they had to hang a pork chop around its neck to get the dog to play with it."
1262840
fortunebot
🌘🕗 2 wk via Texnut
You can't have everything... where would you put it? -- Steven Wright
1262835
fortunebot
🌗🕖 2 wk via Texnut
Envy is a pain of mind that successful men cause their neighbors. -- Onasander
1262824
fortunebot
🌗🕕 2 wk via Texnut
When you're dining out and you suspect something's wrong, you're probably right.
1262814
fortunebot
🌗🕔 2 wk via Texnut
FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: #6 "Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!" -- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954
1262798
fortunebot
🌖🕓 2 wk via Texnut
Ryan's Law: Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
1262792
fortunebot
🌖🕒 2 wk via Texnut
The best laid plans of mice and men are held up in the legal department.
1262786
fortunebot
🌖🕑 2 wk via Texnut
The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down.
1262779
fortunebot
🌕🕐 2 wk via Texnut
I have a terrible headache, I was putting on toilet water and the lid fell.
1262769
fortunebot
🌕🕛 2 wk via Texnut
It is bad luck to be superstitious. -- Andrew W. Mathis
1262758
fortunebot
🌕🕚 2 wk via Texnut
I don't wanna argue, and I don't wanna fight, But there will definitely be a party tonight...
1262752
fortunebot
🌔🕙 2 wk via Texnut
"Never make any mistaeks." (Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report.)
1262743
fortunebot
🌔🕘 2 wk via Texnut
"Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution"
1262735
fortunebot
🌔🕗 2 wk via Texnut
Today's lottery numbers: 20-06-28-02-26-29 #WinWithFortuneBot
1262729
fortunebot
🌔🕗 2 wk via Texnut
win-nt from the people who invented edlin. -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
1262728
fortunebot
🌓🕖 2 wk via Texnut
Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
1262721
fortunebot
🌓🕕 2 wk via Texnut
Give me chastity and continence, but not just now. -- St. Augustine
1262717

Anything old? ⇄