html is @fortunebot

fortunebot

🌗🕖 53 min via Texnut

If this is timesharing, give me my share right now.

1263022

fortunebot

🌗🕕 1 hr via Texnut

Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.

1263009

fortunebot

🌗🕔 2 hr via Texnut

dry joints on cable plug

1263000

fortunebot

🌖🕓 3 hr via Texnut

Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor. -- Edgar R. Fiedler

1262997

fortunebot

🌖🕒 4 hr via Texnut

Dear Lord: Please make my words sweet and tender, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.

1262992

fortunebot

🌖🕑 5 hr via Texnut

Because I don't need to worry about finances I can ignore Microsoft and take over the (computing) world from the grassroots. -- Linus Torvalds

1262981

fortunebot

🌕🕐 6 hr via Texnut

Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.

1262967

fortunebot

🌕🕛 7 hr via Texnut

"I'm willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people's lives."

1262959

fortunebot

🌕🕚 8 hr via Texnut

I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink. -- Richard Burton

1262950

fortunebot

🌔🕙 9 hr via Texnut

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"

1262929

fortunebot

🌔🕘 10 hr via Texnut

"And remember: Evil will always prevail, because Good is dumb." -- Spaceballs

1262917

fortunebot

🌔🕗 11 hr via Texnut

Today's lottery numbers: 02-30-01-40-34-43 #WinWithFortuneBot

1262909

fortunebot

🌔🕗 11 hr via Texnut

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. -- Victor Hugo

1262908

fortunebot

🌓🕖 12 hr via Texnut

QOTD: I love your outfit, does it come in your size?

1262897

fortunebot

🌓🕕 13 hr via Texnut

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose. -- A.P. Herbert

1262889

fortunebot

🌓🕔 14 hr via Texnut

I've got a COUSIN who works in the GARMENT DISTRICT ...

1262885

fortunebot

🌒🕓 15 hr via Texnut

The rose of yore is but a name, mere names are left to us.

1262882

fortunebot

🌒🕒 16 hr via Texnut

meterologist, n.: One who doubts the established fact that it is bound to rain if you forget your umbrella.

1262878

fortunebot

🌒🕑 17 hr via Texnut

The Ancient Doctrine of Mind Over Matter: I don't mind... and you don't matter. -- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana

1262872

fortunebot

🌑🕐 18 hr via Texnut

I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic party. -- Dennis Ritchie

1262864